“My hair is a mess.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“No, seriously, just look at me. The Beast would look a Beauty compared to me.” She laughed.

He looked at her as she asked and could not really figure what her problem was. She was perfect. Her composed face reflected a quiet essence of maturity and confidence. Her blue eyes sparkled with joy and could penetrate deep into his soul and read each of his private thoughts and dreams, except for the ones which he was too afraid to admit even to himself.

Her hair… Well, it really was a mess but he would never tell her that. In fact her sunshiny locks flowed over her shoulders and gave her such an easy going look that he couldn’t help but admire her natural beauty. A fetching smile played on her lips and he would pay a million dollars just to know what she was thinking right now.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked.

She reached for her cell phone without replying to him. She often did it. Not replying to him. He didn’t care. Well, he did, but he couldn’t help it. He was too afraid to lose her over some stupid matter now when he finally took a permanent place in her life. The place of her best friend. It was not the place he had always hoped for, but something was better than nothing, he thought and kept on bearing all her mood swings and heartaches without complaints.

He took years of selfless dedication, months of sleepless nights spent over long phone conversations about her love life, weeks of hearing her pain out and now days of seeing her happy in love. Again. Not with him. Again. He wouldn’t risk his place in her life for anything. It was the only chance to stay close enough. Sometimes he wanted to hide and see if she would go and search for him. Sometimes he wanted to walk away and wondered if she would follow him. But he was so scared that she would not even notice his disappearance. And this fear made him stick to her and the little of what he had with her. Like some of her smiles most of which were gifted to someone else. Like hidden looks he was throwing at her when he thought she was not watching. Or those childish fights over the phone they had every now and then just for fun.

And holding her hands when she was too upset to even notice.

It was way too much to lose as he couldn’t imagine living any other way, without seeing her every day, without hearing her voice, without loving her.

She didn’t know. Or maybe she just pretended she didn’t know. As at times he wondered how could she NOT know? Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry? She always ended up with the ones who hurt her. Couldn’t she see he was the one? He would have given her the world if she just asked once. She never did. And maybe she never would.

He listened to her phone call with one ear only, deeply sank into the world of his own dreams. It was only when she began crying he realized that something was wrong.

“What happened, sweetie?” He asked.

“Nothing.” She tried to hold back her emotions, to hide her feelings but the tears in her eyes were a dead give-away.

“Nothing.” She repeated and then burst into sobs. She was talking and talking and he couldn’t get a word from her confused explanations. It took him at least ten minutes before he could understand that the guy of her dreams broke up with her over the phone.And he felt again how her heart was breaking into a million of pieces like the last time and the time before that and before that too. All he wanted to do was to collect these little pieces and bring them together for her. But she wouldn’t let him do this. She had never let him before. Maybe this time she would, he thought rocking her in his arms till she fell asleep. Maybe this time…