While browsing in net I came across few sites which cover same topics as Colors of My Soul. And I was pretty much surprised to read articles which tell people how to get their Ex back.
On the one hand it is not really my business if someone wants to get their Ex back. On the other hand it got me thinking. We strive our whole life to find the ONE.

No matter how often we say that it’s ok to be single and it has its own advantages.
No matter how often we repeat that we want first to settle down, make career and only then build up a strong relationship and have a family of our own.
No matter how much we pretend that loneliness does not hurt.

Because we all know, it does.
Everybody needs someone.
Someone to care, to comfort, to help out, to listen to, to hear out, to smile at, to fight with.
Someone to love.

That is why we are exceptionally happy when we think that finally, this time, we did everything right, we have the person we always needed, and from now on the happily ever after begins.

What we forget is that life is not a fairytale, it is not a story book. It is not perfect. Love is not about romance only, it is much more about hard work. It is overcoming obstacles together, facing challenges together, fighting for each other (again together). It is all about holding on to things you believe and not letting go of what you think is important. It is struggling for your own happiness.

Every hour. Every minute. Every second. Together.

And the more difficult it is to let go of it when things fall apart. Because eventually they might and you can’t really be prepared to that. A lot of relationships don’t survive for some reasons. Reasons are the same for each couple and yet different for every of them. Sooner or later everyone might be put into a situation when there is no love anymore, when there is no trust, no respect, no understanding. And then the only option left to the couple will be a break up. Again, situations can be different; we should not generalize, or find out whose fault it is. Each relationship involves two people. Their happiness is shared and so should be their mistakes.

The big question that remains is why you would want to get your Ex back? Of course moving on is not simple. Letting go of something so real, so beautiful cannot be easy. Emotions know no logic. And the change in your life might be killing. And most probably it is not wanted. What choices do you have? To try getting back someone who used to be the ONE or to try living life on your own.

New people, new decisions, new emotions, a new YOU.

I could understand why you want to get someone back. You might still love this person. No matter if you hurt them or they hurt you. You are ready to forgive and forget or you are ready to beg for forgiving. Is it worth it? Yes, the history knows the cases when people get married, divorce, then realize their mistakes and get married again. And live happily. Like all the fairytales promise. And you so want to believe that yours is the same case. That once you get back together things will be different and you won’t repeat same mistakes and you won’t ever part your ways again.

I can give 99% that you will.

It takes a lot of courage, a strong will, bravery, understanding and tolerance to start anew.

Not everyone can.
Not everyone will.
Not everyone should.

If you are not sure you and/or your partner can handle the guilt feeling, accusations, memories, then don’t do that. What’s the point? The heroine of Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal said “The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it’s not because they forget; it’s because they forgive”.

Are you sure you can forgive?
Are you sure they can forgive?
Are you sure you need it?
Because if you are wrong, it won’t work out again no matter how hard you try.

One more point that made me wonder while reading the articles of how to get your ex back is the big question WHY?
Why would you want to get someone who does not want you back. If they left you, they had their reasons. It is not some kind of punishment for your bad behavior – we are not in the kindergarden anymore. And they won’t come back because you promise to change yourself. If they have chosen to quit, it is a well thought over decision.

They might just not love you anymore.
You don’t make them happy, they don’t need you around.
They are happier without you.

And you should be happier without them. It is not simple, nobody promised life to be easy.
It takes more than a day, a week, a month, to get over all the pain and the feeling of loss.
But why to be sad for being without someone who is happy being without you; it is not fair, is it?

And why to settle for something less than love? Even if you get your ex back with all the tricks promised in many articles over the net, they don’t promise that your partner will love you as you love him/her. So why to go for something which is less than what you dreamt of? If you want this overwhelming, beautiful, romantic, strong feeling then why you decide to put up with its imitation? Why do you want to lie to yourself about things being fine when they are not?

Time heals all. And if you feel like without that person time stands still, then kick the clock and move forward.
Someone once said we hide because we want to be found, we walk away to see who will follow, we cry to see who will wipe away the tears, and we let our hearts get broken to see who will come and fix them.

In 99% of cases they won’t go search for you, won’t follow and won’t wipe your tears. Then why don’t you open your heart to someone who will… instead of trying to make work something that most probably will not?
Why don’t you create your own fairytale instead of living someone else’s?